Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Over the past few days and weeks, I've had the displeasure of hearing an earfull of the phrase "Mahirap mag-commit." In fact, I even threatened one of those who said this phrase that I will forward his message to his girlfriend (and see how she'll react). What's so hard with commitment anyway?

I will try to classify various types of commitment phobia (in no particular order)...

First, there's the type who can't commit even for something that's going to happen this weekend. Imagine, what's a few days going to do? Are people so busy nowadays that they can't commit a few hours in the weekend? Of course, if people were indeed busy, it would be understandable to get a negative reply. But how come even a "no" reply is so hard to come by?

And what's with being not sure if you're sure ("Baka hindi ako makapunta" or "I don't think I'll be able to go"). C'mon guys, if you're not going or nor free, just have enough balls and say it. Di ba ang labo nun? One thing I learned: "I will try" means "NO"

A different type of commitment phobia is when you don't want to commit to something even though you don't have anything better to do or you just think that something will come up. This one is really malabo... I mean you don't have anything to do (yet), you're offered something, and then you refuse just because you think you'll have something to do by then or you want to be free by then so that when something more interesting comes up, you're available. Of course, there's also the fact that you might not be interested at all, in which case, I will refer you to the previous paragraph.

Another thing I learned from organizing trips (local or out of town) is that people are really concerned on who's going, just as much as where. So when you ask "Punta tayo (somewhere)" they will ask "Cnong pnta?"... If everybody asked that question, then I would have to text them at least twice. WORSE, if everybody is asking if anybody or if somebody is going (or they're concered that nobody's going), then it will end up with nobody going. (I'm sure you've seen the poster with a similar tone). It's a vicious cycle.

While I'm at it, I guess I should also lash out at people who can't commit to a job. Whether its a small job (sending e-mails) or a job at a multinational, there are just some people who can't commit, ready to jump on the next good offer that comes by (even if the current one isn't that bad anyway).

Of course, there are a few exceptional instances where commitment is an expensive commodity, like when you're expecting both a kid and a change of career, or maybe when you expect to be out of a job for the next X months (where X is a random variable). Lack of commitment in these cases is completely acceptable. Otherwise, it's not.